Ten Minute Story

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I am writing a story in ten minutes. A ten-minute Story. Well nine-minute story, I spent the first minute picking out a good font and getting my formatting correct. I figured I would go with something a bit casual since this I only have ten err nine minutes for a story, so I chose Comic Sans, but then as I began to write I realized that the most casual font possible would of course be whatever the hell this is, the default

So, I switched back to default and typed all that, looked at the clock and realized I only had 8 minutes left. I feel like I should mention that the clock is completely arbitrary, I said to myself a few minutes ago: 

“I bet I could write an amazing story in ten minutes.” I do not know why I said this, Confidence? Arrogance? Stupidity? Nonetheless I set myself to this task and began. Well, I had begun the process of beginning and am now only in possession of 5 more minutes. 

You may have noticed that I did not write out the 5 right there. Thats because it saves precious time rather than spelling out the whole word. Those are the kind of useful tips ad triks you learn when you are a speed writing pro. That and not going black to spell check. 

I am nailing this. 

The keyboard is clacking under my fingers at breakneck speed as I type this very sentence. Surely, a sign of the greatness to come. My mother yells from some unseen location to go clean up the mess I made in the kitchen. 

I knew lasagna was a bad idea. I sprint downstairs to clean. 

I have returned. And wirth only a minute remaining on the clock! No matter, if a great writer can make a story in 10 minutes (saved some time with that number there), I can surely make 1 in 1 (there I go again). 

Alright. So I have to pick a character, lets call him Randy. Actually no, we can do better than that. I’ve got 30 seconds lef and I can’t waste them on such a boring name. Vitruvius the Spectacular. Thats it. Alright, here goes nothing:

Vitruvius the Spectacular is a spaghetti salesman who was recentl